All posts tagged hope

I think the title speaks for itself. It feels to me that within the last year and a half so much has happened not just to me but so many I know near and far. Every step further is another long stride to endure and even then you feel no closer to your uncertain destination. You hear things like things can only get better or there’s no way it can get any worse but you wait for those moments to be proved wrong. Nevertheless, events cannot be measured quite so easily. My tragedy may not compare to your tragedy which may never compare to other tragedies that make our tragedies nothing more than dismal complaints or emotional outpours. But in a single moment within your own mental universe it could be spirit shattering. Someone told me the other day that I seemed to be coping with some current dramas in my life very well. That really made me think at how much worse things have seemed to unfold and yet my outside reaction has very much weakened. I’m not sure if that makes me stronger or just more shielded. Could me at age 12 have “coped” with these things at age 23? I guess in the end it’s our experiences that shape us and outline our shadows. But I do not feel desensitized. That only seems to apply to things I know aren’t real. The blood and gore and heartache of television static and cinema glow. I still feel things that I did at 9, 12, 17, etc. Perhaps these feelings are even more intense now that I have the capacity to narrow them with logic and memories. But I think it is very much important that we realize and appreciate the good whether it is in a day, afternoon, moment, dream, thought, or smile. That is how we do more than just, to be dramatic, survive. That is how we live. This is how I am discovering who I have yet to become. Wow, I really hope she isn’t a selfish bitch. *smirks*

(Brit- You’re a strong person and I know you’ve been going through difficult times. I’m glad you’re realizing your happiness and exploring who you hope to become. In a strange non-parental way I’m proud. ;) Good night.)